This is going to be controversial.
Dog trainers that bring up this subject are often seen as unfeeling and even cruel. What can be much crueler is NOT discussing this issue because it can stifle a dogs emotional growth and limit their world significantly.
We want to offer comfort, support and help our pups with confidence, especially our anxious dogs....of that there is no question.
How we all do that seems to be the problem.
I have to distinguish what comfort is and define over placating (tricky area to separate).
Should you comfort your dog when frightened or anxious.....ABSOLUTELY, to not do that is cruel. So yes, comfort your dog....however there is a fine line here.
Over placating seems to be heavily linked to us offering an abundance of (what we may view as comfort) at times when perhaps a better choice could have been made by both of us.
We often see the solution to anxiety (of any degree and level) as holding our dogs tight and telling them everything is fine, we may also tell them to relax and calm down...are we giving them any chance to look at this stressful situation differently ?
Are we allowing them the opportunity to regulate their own emotions around a trigger or are we controlling any chance of that by immediately soothing them.
Not all stress is bad.
It isn't all bad for us and it isn't all bad for our dogs either.
However, it is the degree and duration of that stress that can be problematic.
Sometimes we can get into our own "protection mode" and we feel an overwhelming need to protect our dogs from anything and everything that can cause our dogs even mild anxiety.
That is over placating.
It comes in many forms.
Now that I have (sort of ) defined the parameters of over placating, here are some examples of how we can (inadvertently and with the best of intentions) over placate our dogs.
Rewards and Treats.
Again a fine line here....but we can use food at times of stress or anxiousness when it can inadvertently reward the very behaviour we may desperately want to change.
An example of this would be using food when a visitor enters and a dog is barking and clearly upset.
This dog is right by the door, visibly stressed, over whelmed and barking.
We may throw some rewards on the ground to distract, to stop the barking but have we rewarded the barking?
Have we navigated a different way to help our dogs lessen their own stress at a door or have we just placated them with food ?
Have we just given signals to our dog that we like this behaviour ?
Of course we use food as trainers but food needs to be very carefully implemented because some dogs can now see barking means food and they can easily start to bark at different times.
We don't want our dogs to feel distress so we have used food to placate BUT have we helped in any real discernable way or just created a loop of unwanted behaviour by using food ?
Is food the only answer to ANY stress they may feel?
If they whine do we "comfort" them by giving them a tasty chew?....Why were they whining in the first place?
Have we missed what they may be experiencing and "dismissed" it with rewards?
Is our answer to any discomfort or stress felt by a dog to over placate with food?
Patting and constant attention
That fine line is getting finer now... but I will try and explain this as best as I can (hopefully without upsetting people).
Some people constantly pat their dogs.
It is almost non stop.
These dogs may whine and become upset when we stop patting, so we pat again because we see they are upset because we stopped.
We don't want to cause discomfort or anxiety so we offer more pats when they want them.
We can start to do this when our dogs show slight anxiety, it is a habit for us now.
We don't like seeing them upset so we offer what seems to calm them....constantly.
However, we aren't allowing our dogs an opportunity to regulate their own emotions.
We can stifle any chance of emotional self control and growth opportunities for our dogs to navigate our often stressful world themselves, because we control even the most mild discomfort they may be feeling by holding, cuddling and patting.
We can easily create hyper attachment and separation issues because of our actions.
Over placation is an easy trap to fall into and a very real struggle to navigate out of.
Once again this is NOT about NOT comforting a distressed dog. To ignore and dismiss a dogs emotions when they are anxious is cruel. It is about looking at other ways to help rather than creating patterns of behaviour which we fall back into time and time again and some of those habits we have formed may not be as helpful as we may think and can indeed cause more issues long term. Something no one wants.
ABC Dogs NZ
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